Tying a Tie…

As some of you might know, in one of my university classes, I have to do “micro-teaching”. This is sort of fake teaching. Each student has to teach a special skill in no more than ten minutes, to the rest of our class. I really had no idea what to do. But, Jessica had an idea for me. What about teaching them how to tie a tie? Smart.

Thanks to Jason who told me to google “tie a tie” and so gave me the opportunity of learning how to do it quite easily, because I had never tied a tie before. This is me and my first attempt at the “Half Windsor Knot”:

I am indeed quite excited about this new skill I have acquired (and new style too…)

Tonight we had a leader’s meeting for more planning and thinking about our desire to start a small youth group among two small churches in Verdun. It is quite neat to have representatives from both churches as leaders and especially the input of older people. We had a couple from one of the churches for supper to talk about it all and it was really encouraging to be guided by them, see their joy about this new thing happening, and pray together. We’re embarking on a new adventure.

I remember the days when I was trying to start something at Valleyfield (my home church), a few years ago. All I wanted to do by God’s help, was to start create a bond in between the people. The majority of the teens were not exactly interested into God’s stuff and several were not even saved. What I did for them was minimal to my eyes and I could have done more. But God blessed and things changed dramatically during the summer.

Let us never look down on humble beginnings. God asks for faithfulness, not success. He gives success according to His own definition of success in our contexts and in His time.

He takes it personal.

(God’s) knowledge of our afflictions and adversities is more than theoric; it is personal, warm, and compassionate. Whatever may befall us, God knows and cares as no one else can.” - A.W. Tozer

I do not think that Tozer meant for me what he made me think, but nevertheless, I believe it is quite interesting. It’s the word “personal” that I probably do not get right, only to find myself encouraged and defended by my Creator. The temptations of my flesh, of this world, of the spiritual world that bombard me day and night, all of these, God sees as my adversaries and because He is my Father and redeemed me at an unbelievable price, God takes all this adversities as His own. They are trying to touch the apple of His eye. God takes it personal.

It feels liberating. I’m not alone in the bull’s eye. God is standing in front of me. And who would dare shooting an arrow at Him?

Takin’ it slow.

I was out of new books to read (well, there’s always university stuff…) so I picked up an old book I’d read a few years ago, “The Knowledge of the Holy” by A.W. Tozer. I mainly read it when I’m sitting in the metro, going to university, or when we have a break in class and nobody has anything very interesting to say. What is interesting though, is that I don’t read at the same pace I would normally read. I am not a fast-reader (not in English, nor in French), but when I read this book, I always, on purpose, read really slowly. You wouldn’t want to hear me… or maybe you would. It is very different and it really feels as if the words penetrate my mind, as if I can savor them. It’s a time with God (because the book talks about what God is like, His attributes and etc.) in the middle of business. I’m always doing something, going here, going there, in class, studying, “homeworking”, talking, searching, working… it feels so sweet to stop and read slowly, like, really slowly this book. I feel at peace, in a holy place. I think it’s healthy for my mind and heart. It’s just taking the time to think about God, slowly.

You can read the following slowly, see for yourself…

“O Lord God Almighty, not the God of the philosophers and the wise but the God of the prophets and apostles; and better than all, the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, may I express Thee unblamed? They that know Thee not may call upon Thee as other than Thou art, and so worship not Thee but a creature of their own fancy; therefore enlighten our minds that we may know Thee as Thou art, so that we may perfectly love Thee and worthily praise Thee.”

(A.W. Tozer)

“Lord, how great is our dilemma! In Thy Presence silence best becomes us, but love inflames our hearts and constrains us to speak. Were we to hold our peace the stones would cry out; yet if we speak, what shall we say? Teach us to know that we cannot know, for the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. Let faith supports us where reason fails, and we shall think because we believe, not in order that we may believe.”

(A.W. Tozer)

“O Majesty unspeakable, my soul desires to behold Thee. I cry to Thee from the dust. Yet when I inquire after Thy name it is secret. Thou art hidden in the light which no man can approach unto. What Thou art cannot be thought or uttered, for Thy glory ineffable. Still, prophet and psalmist, apostle and saint have encouraged me to believe that I may in some measure know Thee. Therefore, I pray, whatever of Thyself Thou hast been pleased to disclosed, help me to search out as treasure more precious than rubies or the merchandise of fine gold: for with Thee shall I live when the stars of the twilight are no more and the heavens have vanished away and only Thou remainest.”

(A.W. Tozer)

Jesus, remind me.

Tonight was the opening night of the GBU (Groupe Biblique Universitaire - you can figure what it means I’m sure). Lots of new faces and a couple of known ones. We were about twenty people. There are more Christians than that in the university for sure, but it is still a very small number when we think of the … 30, 35, thousand other students going to my university.

These last weeks I have been feeling a bit different. Yes university started and life is busy and etc. but I’ve been thinking about obedience to God. It frustrates me everyday to find myself failing to obey the Holy Spirit and just do things my way because it’s easier, because sin tastes better (for the moment). It is still frustrating and I feel powerless. I feel that it shouldn’t be that way.

The last song we sang at the GBU meeting was the French version of “Arms of Love”. We had sang about God’s holiness and loving eachother and I myself had a good time praising my Lord. But with my heart frustrated because of sin and struggles and lack of understanding, I felt that I couldn’t sing those words:

 My heart is glad that you’ve called me your own 

And there’s no place I’d rather be

Than in your arms of love, in your arms of love

Holding me still, holding me near, in your arms of love

In French, the last verse literally says something like “Holding me very tight, holding me very tight”. I was picturing myself in the arms of Jesus, being hugged very tight, like, very tight. Why would Jesus want to embrace me? I must be so frustrating to Him with my repeated sins and empty words. I am a sinner, I am helpless, why would He want to hug and love me? After the song, we could pick up a bible verse from a bunch of little cards. I picked Matthew 28:20 and that said in French, “I am with you for ever”. That struck me. He wanted to be with me and care for me.

In my struggle for holiness, I had forgotten I was helpless. Well, I knew it, but I was still struggling with my own strength, in my own way. I had forgotten how Jesus loved me and wanted me to lay my burdens at His feet and put His yoke on my shoulders so we can walk together. I’m not exactly sure how to do that, but I want to remind myself that Jesus is by my side, waiting for me to give up and accept His yoke. What is His yoke?

Twilight

Twilight by Shaun Groves

Like the sky before the dawn, while the night is holding on, sun and moon together in the gray. So my soul is shared by two, the worst of me, the best of you, saint and sinner mingle in my veins. And I pray you’ll end this twilight.

Twilight, twilight, I’m torn inside my soul tonight, the dawning day, the dying night, Oh rid my soul of twilight, oh rid my soul of twilight.

Good I love but evil’s done, good intentions come undone, good to know I know the One who saves me from myself.

Oh Lord, paint my heart a solid hue, the shade of You oh Lord, break this dreadful in between inside of me, oh let it be morning.

I know the sun is coming up, oh the sun is coming, yes the sun is coming up. In me.

 

—

Lord Jesus, I sin. Grant that I may never cease grieving because of it, never be content with myself, never think I can reach a point of perfection. Kill my envy, command my tongue, trample down self. Give me grace to be holy, kind, gentle, pure, peaceable, to live for Thee and not for self, to copy Thy words, acts, spirit, to be transformed into Thy likeness, to be consecrated wholly to Thee, to live entirely to Thy glory.

Deliver me from attachment to things unclean, from wrong associations, from the predominance of evil passions, from the sugar of sin as well as its gap; that with self-loathing, deep contrition, earnest heart searching I may come to Thee, cast myself on Thee, trust Thee, cry to Thee, be delivered by Thee.

O God, the Eternal All, help me to know that all things are shadows, but Thou art substance, all things are quicksands, but Thou art mountain, all things are shifting, but Thou art anchor, all things are ignorance, but Thou art wisdom.

If my life is to be a crucible amid burning heat, so be it, but do Thou sit at the furnace mouth to watch the ore that nothing be lost. If I sin wilfully, grievously, tormentedly, in grace take away my mourning and give me music; remove my sackcloth and clothe me with beauty; still my sighs and fill mu mouth with song, then give me summer weather as a Christian.

- a Puritan prayer -

Look what I found… this is truly my little sister! I think she’s pretty!

Soon I will be Done

Oh the troubles of the world! I know very little about hardship, suffering, illness, hurt and sorrow, but (sigh) Oh the troubles of the world! Maybe that’s what they are, “The world’s troubles” but it seems that often, they are my troubles. I get down because of them and I feel as if besieged by an army.

I feel like giving up. But oh, how foolish I am.

+++

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Happiness

I remember realizing that it’s important to look at people and their circumstances before letting myself being hurt by what someone can say to me. People may be rude or upset or frustrated, but very often the circomstances really push them to be like that. That’s why I don’t need to take any bad comment or pressure from people who are in the middle of an “upsetting” situation or a rush hour.

Now it’s gone deeper - I think. Sometimes people around me aren’t nice. They seem upset or frustrated and they make me feel as if I’m not doing things properly, as if I’m not good enough for them. When I look at their circumstances, I find people who are under pressure. People who’d need six hands instead of two. People who are not understood. What I realize now is that these people, no matter the wrong they do, the lies they tell, the compromises they make, or the comfort they take from me… they’re simply, desperately looking for happiness. They just want to be happy and comfortable so they use whatever means they can to accomplish their goal. And for some people, it doesn’t matter if they use people, people’s hapiness even, in order to get their own happiness. If they lie and aren’t nice, it’s because there’s something that makes them uncomfortable, something’s wrong, they’re looking for more. They want to get out of that state so they do whatever they can sometimes.

 When people aren’t nice to me or seem to be upset, instead of feeling little and a failure, I stand there and think, “poor him”, “poor her”. They might not be nice and it’s wrong to trade people’s happiness for your bitterness, but serious, those people just want to be happy. Isn’t it most people’s goal in life: be happy?

 So what’s the point of me writing this here? Hmm… Well, maybe just to encourage you and me to be encouraged: people may not be nice all the time, but they’re actually sad, they have little hope on this earth. They live for this life and try to get all they can out of it. I realize that there is no need for me to feel down, stressed because of things around me. I have a hope that is not of this earth and my God is greater and bigger than anything and, any boss or any threat. And, I’ve got real happiness, so I don’t need to be jealous, upset, impatient or under pressure. 

Reality ?

I looked in over a dozen different versions of the Bible (in English) to find the word “reality”. I was surprised that the word usually did not exist in most versions and when it did, it was used once or twice in the entire book. Why did I look for “reality”? Well, there’s a verse I always liked that is found in Colossians 2:17 that says: “These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.” (NIV) I particularly like the second part of it “reality, however, is found in Christ”. This is not a verse to back up my thoughts about reality, because of the context, but still I believe that THE reality is found in Christ.

I’ve been learning about reality this past week. Some of you might know how I get down and frustrated when I what I do isn’t fulfilling. You see, right now, people might look at my life and routine and say, “Gabrielle’s reality is simple: she works” and when I start university again in September, people might look at my life and say, “Gabrielle’s reality is this: she is a student”. And that’s the way I feel too. Well, that’s the way I FELT. I thought that that was it: my work runs my life, and in the fall, school will. Why? Because I spend so much time at work! Because I build my schedule around my work, not the other way around for the most part. So it feels as if, my reality, right now, is work.

The thing though is that this is no truth. The time that I spend somewhere, the responsibilities that are laid on my shoulders, the titles that are given me or whatever seems to consume my life are small characteristics of my life, but my “real” reality is clearly way above all these things.

My reality is this: I am God’s child. My greatest ambition in life is to glorify Him and to help people know Him so that they can worship Him as the only true God. And this, everyday of my life. That’s my reality. It’s more real and more important than anything else, that’s why I live. I don’t work solely because I need money, I work because I want to share the Gospel there, that’s my motivation. I go to school because I believe that God calls me there and that He wants to use me bring His Good News there and later on when I get my bachelors. It’s all about God being glorified and loved and worshiped.

The purpose of evangelization is not merely to call people to come to peace with God so they go to heaven instead of hell (although this is one of the good things that the Gospel brings to those who believe). But the purpose of spreading the Good News is to bring more people to bow down in adoration before the throne of God, it’s to bring more glory to our Redeemer. It’s to savor and treasure the only Worthy One. And I believe that that’s the reality of all who come to know Christ Jesus as their Savior.

It’s easy to get into the routine and be blinded by the so-called “realities” of our lives; work, school, family, friends, etc. But, oh! How liberating it is to realize that our reality is found in Christ and that we are above our little realities, that God wants to use us for greater purposes, that He’s put us into certain circumstances and places so we’d shine His glory, lift up His standards and help people know Him and become true worshipers of God.   

Jog

The air is refreshing but humid and the sky is dark as a bunch of co-workers and I leave the store. We’re are heading to the same direction: the métro. As we walk on the sidewalk, I keep looking for a clearing on the 4 lanes street. When no car is coming on either side, I jump into the street and start running toward the first light that stands as a halfway point between work and métro. I’m glad I can get to the station ahead of everybody else and maybe catch the métro before them all so I can read more of the story of the Wycliffe first Bible translators.

I’m known as the girl who runs. What I find interesting is that now, people run with me. Tonight a girl crossed the busy street before me and then I followed because it was not dangerous anymore. Then two other co-workers followed and we all ran up to the light. As I walked from the light to the métro station, I thought that it was neat that just by running every time we were done working, people actually started running with me. It’s a very little thing I know. But I thought that it would be glorious that people would look at me and want to “run with me” to know and love Jesus. That God would use me to influence them.

I’m spending time praying for them and my supervisors while working. It’s been refreshing and opening my eyes to a greater reality to pray while working and leaving Gospel tracks here and there and pray about them. I encourage you to find ways to make the Gospel message and its sharing the center of your life. You have ideas.