Insulted

You remember this prophet of God in the Old Testament, he was riding his donkey and all of a sudden, his donkey turns aside and get out of the road, and again back on track, the donkey presses Balaam’s foot against the wall. Everytime, Balaam strikes his donkey. God opens the mouth of the donkey and this is what it says, “… Am I not your donkey, on which you have ridden all your life long to this day? Is it in my habit to treat you this way?” (Numbers 22:30) You know, sometimes you just need to make a “mistake” or be misinterpreted to insult someone, even though you never meant it. What is a complete nonsense to me is that people (and I included) sometimes act like Balaam.

You see, I believe I’ve always been a good “donkey” at university. Not that I am at everybody’s service, but you understand. I’ve always had good and peaceful relationships with everybody and people call me or email me when they need some comfort about some assignments, deadlines, presentations, or just when their minds blow up. I am not the perfect donkey to be sure, but I am the kind to promote peace. But the first time I sound inconsiderate, Tim says quite seriously and very upset that I insulted him. As Balaam with his donkey, hitting it for acting weird for the first time in his lifetime. Instead of being surprised and take a step back and ask me what I meant and why I sounded so inconsiderate, Tim curses me.

And just as the donkey, I am the one who’s really been insulted by the way I am treated. But you know what? I seek to show grace and try to understand why Tim treats me that way, again I try to put the pieces back in place to help rebuild the bridge. No matter the amount of work I’ll have to do. I feel we are sometimes very childish in our attitudes toward each other.

and the strike

is “re-conducted” for another week.

“Le National” may look nice from here, but this is only the view you have from the balcony. Under the balcony there are no chairs and this time it was quite hot and there were so many people, that I didn’t feel quite safe!

Isaiah

Isaiah was right when he said, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” (Isaiah 5:20). It is appalling how this is true in my little university world, how lies are embraced and how the truth is rejected.

“Funny” thing: Some people brought a bottle of wine that they used for their presentation. Later on during the class, while other people were doing their presentation, the teacher grabbed the bottle of wine and started drinking. To be sure, my literature classes are interesting at times.

lies and lies

I started my second week of strike at university. We voted yesterday and the majority decided that we would continue the strike for another two weeks. Yes it is frustrating.

There is one course that’s still on. Literature. Tonight we talked about Paradise Lost by John Milton, a puritan of the 16oos. I was appalled at how people can interpret a book and then form their own view of God. The conclusion: God is evil and Satan is a pretty nice guy who’s got good reasons for doing evil, he’s not our friend, but still, he probably isn’t worse than God. I really wanted to get up and speak of God’s truth, but there was so many lies thrown at me that I didn’t know where to start and how to be relevant. I felt discouraged and furious at the same time.

I walked to the metro station with a guy and had the opportunity to chat about it with him. We revisited the idea that God was evil, using evil to corrupt mankind and then show up as the hero (man there is so much in-congruency in this concept). I tried to make him understand that God was simply giving us the choice to love Him or reject Him and those who don’t want Him, well it’s too bad but the only place to go where God is not is Hell.

I know that there is more to the issue, we didn’t talk about sin and how God is Holy and how sinners simply can’t spend eternity in His Presence, but we’ve talked about it at other times and hopefully will get to talk about it some more God willing.

I’m furious because people don’t get to hear the truth. They hear each other’s interpretations of a book - not inspired by God and form their own views of God and Satan. The teacher doesn’t help either. It’s not that they absolutely believe everything they hear, but it encourages untruth and sheds a shadow on God, casts doubts on who He is, creates friendship with evil. I have no clue what to do about it but to pray for them all. Presenting the Gospel would be irrelevant to them at this point since they have little to no knowledge of any truth about God. -sigh.

Evening

Oh before I start - my university association has gone on strike and it’s starting this coming Monday. It means that all my courses are canceled until we get enough people to vote against the strike. Next vote is on Monday, February 18 in the morning, so you can pray that things will be straightened up so we don’t lose too many weeks or even worse, have our semester canceled.

We had a Bible study tonight. There was a new person and it was quite something different to have her with us. At first she seemed to be very shy and uncomfortable, but it didn’t take long before she started taking control of the Bible study, almost preaching at us on points that she considered more important than others and would not let anybody else share. What I found quite controversial is that she was saying how, if you really have the love of God in you, you should not be weak but should be confident and not fear what people think of you, simply do what Jesus wants you to do. Then she kept on excusing herself for talking so much, “I’m sorry! It’s just the Spirit!” and “I’m sorry, but I have to let the Spirit speak.” She kept excusing the Holy Spirit for what He was doing through her. It did not make sense to me. I have no clue if she was truly filled with the Holy Spirit, but she obviously had a hard time showing respect for the people around.

I do want to be open to this kind of people and what they have to say, but I find it tough to be listening and try to understand them when they disrupt our Bible study time and when they draw so much attention on themselves, their gifts, their opinions.

I feel like I’ve been put in a boiling pot of people that are so different from me. A mixed of Evangelicals from various denominations, Catholics, this last person. I don’t feel at home, but I want to seek God’s Truth in His Word and learn how I can love these people without compromising God’s Truth. Yes, you can pay for me.

Utopia

The Fry’s left around 7pm and I smelled like fish. I figured I had time to go downtown and listen to the second half of my literature class. I waited for the class break at 7:30, got in the classroom and sat with some friends. I hadn’t missed much they said.

People did a presentation on the book Utopia by Thomas Moore and at the end they asked us, “So, what is utopia for you?” The professor had just taken a gulp of water and choked in hearing the question (which was quite funny and he laughed too). I listened to people talk about their own ideas of a perfect world and happiness. I knew I had something to say about utopia (especially that I had described God’s utopia, my hope to the friend sitting next to me just a few days ago). There was this redundancy in people’s comments, that man tried to create utopia through the centuries and even individual utopia, but man had never reached it, it always got destroyed somehow. A colleague behind me was saying that the problem was that the world was constantly changing, so when we were about to reach utopia (a very good world or society or, etc.) times changed and so it didn’t work anymore. I raised my hand not exactly sure what I was going to say, but I knew I had to come back to my colleague’s comment. I said that the problem was not that the world kept changing - the problem laid in the reality that imperfect people simply cannot create anything perfect, so it was no surprise that we could not reach utopia by own on efforts. I continued by telling them that real utopia is to go back to the garden of Eden (we’d touched that a little earlier), real happiness and utopia would happen in a city that God Himself made and rule over. I didn’t get any further and people started lowering the standard to happiness, all of the sudden we were not talking about a perfect world, but a good enough world with lots of individuality that gave us enough freedom but made us live in a way that wouldn’t hurt the people around us (impossible to achieve, they confessed it).

I’m pretty sure most people probably thought, “Ah, religion again” and thought my ideas were quite ridiculous and out of this world. It is tough to live in a world that has no thoughts for God. I pray that some people will think about what I said, even though it was very little.

I happened to get out of the building with a guy I hadn’t talked in a long while and we realized we lived sort of near each other, so we walked and took the metro together, chatting about life, utopia and how selfish people are. We talked about divorce and love. I explained to him that most people nowadays didn’t know much about love - barely a feeling - and how in Hebrew they have like five words for the word love, each carrying a different side of love. I couldn’t remember them all, but we had a good time chatting about love being much more than the feeling itself.

I am quite thankful to God that I decided to go to university instead of staying home, even if I just got half the class. It seems that God puts new people in my life or good conversations these days, people I can pray for.

“Quiet Strength”

I was sitting in a classroom, listening to the teacher talking about some … something. I don’t know why but the topic pushed my neighbor to tease me by saying that I was insane, “I was just kidding! Actually, I think that you’re the most sane or “équilibrée” (balanced) person in our class.” We were in class so I did not ask what she meant at that time but I sent her an email about it - I was curious and wondering why she believed so. I was excited, because I believe that anything that people find different about me, is from God, it’s not from me.

She explained what she meant in an email, mentioning a few points.

1. It probably has to do with your beliefs. (But it doesn’t really matter what you believe in, anybody could come to the same sort of “understanding” you have by believing in something else than what you believe in).

2. I think it has to do with knowing who you are, where you’re going and what is important.

3. I notice the little comments you make and they make me think.

4. I think that you basically know that happiness lies in rejoicing in daily little things.

5. Perhaps the best way to sum it up would be that you seem to have this “quiet strength” that allows you to go through life without worrying too much over small details or obstacles…

Man, I really thought that her email touched very interesting points. I’m excited about it because we (as Christians) usually hope that unbelievers will notice something different about us, not so much in our personality or whatnot, but something deeper that they don’t have. I’m excited because it’ll give me an opportunity to tell her why I am that way, the hope I have, Jesus.

You can pray for her.

“Bible Study”

Different Bible studies at university started this very week, so my Catholic friend and I got to the cafeteria, ready to lead ours. We had met (with 2-3 more Bible study leaders) last week to do the Bible study ourselves and etc. I did not expect anybody to show up. We have about 100 names listed as “Christian contacts” but only about 20 actually participate in Bible studies and/or meetings, activities, etc. Obviously nobody came. I’m just going to join another Bible study group since nobody seem to be available on Monday mornings.

So you might wonder what my Catholic friend and I did as we waited from 10 to 11. We talked about the weather for a little bit, but I could not bear it much longer so I asked him a question “So, according to you, what are the differences between Catholics and Evangelicals?”, with a big smile he told me, “There aren’t any differences!”

I proposed some differences Catholics and Evangelicals have that are quite meaningful (although we didn’t get to talk about salvation). Our conversations were mostly around praying to the saints, baptism and the Lord’s Supper. I felt it was almost useless to chat about these things because he kept telling me, “I know what evangelical people say and how they prove me wrong, but…” or “I know you will say that it’s not written in the Bible but…” no arguments of his challenged me because they were not founded in the Bible and he knew it.

I’m not going to tell all the interesting and sometimes dangerous things he said, but seriously, our conversation on praying to the saints was a little ridiculous.

G: What’s the purpose of praying to saints?

C: Well, saints are people that were made saints after they died. Usually they had done one or two miracles. They are people God has given a very particular gift. So, when we have a specific problem, like with a certain illness, we pray to St. Joe (I can’t remember the names) so that he can go to God on our behalf. They’re like … mediators.
G: Ok, so instead of directly going to Jesus (the only mediator between man and God) you would rather ask a specialized saint who will then go to God for you. So you’re basically substituting Jesus for a saint. Oh, and that whole concept or praying to the saints or dead Christians that can help you… well, to the best of my knowledge it’s foreign to the New Testament too.

C: You don’t substitute Jesus with a saint, you just… it’s like in a big company. If you need to call there, you would not want to talk to the big boss because it would take longer, he’s busy etc. you would want to talk to the person who is specialized in the field you need information on.

I could not bear it any longer, what kind of illustration was that! Ridiculous! I must say that I was quite blunt with him, I’m not going to smile and nod about things that are contrary to the Bible eh. It was all done in a good spirit and no hard feelings. He was actually happy to talk about these things.

So yeah, I was happy I got the chance to talk to him, but I hope we can talk about salvation some other time.

Back

The holidays are over and I started university again this week. It feels good to start this good old routine again, but it feels strange at the same time since it’s been almost three months since I didn’t have university courses. My internship was very demanding and my holidays were exactly what I needed.

I’m not a big fan of superficial conversations. You know, the conversations you sometimes have with people who seem to have forgotten they are talking to you and keep babbling about themselves and their stuff, without thinking for a second that it might not interest you or that what they say has no real importance because all they are doing is saying words and words and words to you because you happen to be around.

I do understand that some people need to vent out or just talk because they don’t get to do it at home or elsewhere, but I still find this (in my situation) quite selfish when this is overly done, day after day.

I do understand that people are different from me. I’m not a big talker to be sure, but I do enjoy some good, meaningful insights coming from thoughtful brains, appropriate questions, or any conversation that is motivated by care and the understanding that it is done between two people.

I am not sure how to handle this. I nod and make sure they know I’m listening, but at some points I’m so tired of it that I continue to read the book I was reading when they interrupted me. I don’t mean to be unrespectful, but … what do you do?

It saddens me to see so many people who have no meaningful words to utter. When I have nothing to say or nothing intelligent, I simply don’t talk and I don’t feel bad about it. It is striking to realize how many people don’t feel comfortable with silence these days.

That was my venting session. I don’t know how meaningful this is to you, I’m just sharing a frustration. I think I’ve been generally frustrated with the lack of meaningfulness in people’s lives in general (and mine included) this last month.

Vive l’enseignement II

On Friday I had a meeting at university an my fellow students had warned me about a snowstorm threatening the schools on Monday. Then at home, my roommates told me the same, so I checked the weather forecast only to find out that there was indeed a lot of snow coming our way. We had a youth meeting on Friday night and a man from my church who had brought his son told me that our church would be closed because of the snowstorm Sunday. So I started believing in the possibility of having the schools closed on Monday.

I was talking about pepper nuts with my roommates who were baking Christmas stuff when the phone rang. First thing I heard was “Cé qui qui’appelle à stheure là!” (Who calls at such a time? - this is a very Québécois version) it was 9:30, Sunday night. The phone was for me.

My cooperating teacher. “Your hope came true, the school will be closed tomorrow.”

Needless to say, I am quite excited! Don’t take me wrong, it is not that I dislike teaching, I dislike teaching when I’m being watched by my cooperating teacher, when the rest of my class are done their internship, this is the last week before Christmas and I’m going to BC in 8 days!

Enjoy the snow if you’re around Montréal!