Higher Obedience

“I do not hesitate to assert that this is perhaps the most subtle and delicate test as to whether we have repented, or where we are: our attitude toward God. Have you noticed it in the psalm? The one against whom David has sinned is God, and yet the one he desires above all is God. That is the difference between remorse and repentance. The man who has not repented, bu who is only experiencing remorse, when he realizes he has done something against God, avoids God. … The man who has not been dealt with by the Spirit of God and has not been convinced and convicted, tries to get away from God, to avoid him at all costs. He does not think, he does not read the Bible, he does not pray; he does everything he can not to think about these things. But the extraordinary thing about the man who is convicted of sin by the Holy Spirit is that though e knows he has sinned against God, it is God he wants – ‘Be merciful to me, O God.’ He wants to be with God – that is the peculiar paradox of repentance, wanting the one I have offended!”

More on D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Creation in Christ

“But if God is so good as you represent Him, and if He knows all that we need, and better far than we do ourselves, why should it be necessary to ask him for anything?”

I answer, What if He knows prayer to be the thing we need first and most? what if the main object in God’s idea of prayer be the supplying of our great, our endless need – the need of Himself? What if the good of all our smaller and lower needs lies in this, that they help to drive us to God?

Hunger may drive the runaway child home, and he may or may not be fed at once, but he needs his mother more than his inner. Communion with God is the one need of th soul beyond all other need; prayer is the beginning of that communion, and some need is the motive of that prayer. Our wants are for the sake of our coming into communion with God out eternal need.

If gratitude and love immediately followed the supply of our needs, of God our Savior was the one thought of our hearts, then it might be unnecessary that we should ask for anything we need. But seeing we take our supplies as a matter of course, feeling as if they came out of nothing, or from the earth, or our own thoughts – instead of out of a heart of love and a will which alone is force – it is needful that we should be made to feel some at least of our wants, that we may seek Him who alone supplies all of them, and find His every gift a window to His heart of truth.

So begins a communion, a talking with God, a coming-to-one with Him, which is the sole end of prayer, yea, of existence itself in its infinite phases. We must ask that we may receive; but that we should receive what we ask in respect of our lower needs, is not God’s end in making us pray, for He could give us everything without that. To bring His child to His knee, God withholds that man may ask.

- George MacDonald

By George Herbert

Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back

Guilty of dust and sin.

But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack

From my first entrance in,

Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning

If I lacked anything.

“A guest,” I answered, “worthy to be here”;

Love said, “You shall be he.”

“I, the unkind, the ungrateful? Ah my dear,

I cannot look on thee.”

Love took my hand, and smiling did reply,

“who made the eyes but I?”

“Truth, Lord, but I have marred them; let my shame

Go where it doth deserve.”

“And know you not,” says Love, “who bore the blame?”

“My dear, then I will serve.”

“You must sit down,” says Love, “and taste my meat.”

So I did sit and eat.

John Milton was a Puritan and published in 1667 a book, “Paradise Lost” in which he depicts what could have happened before Genesis. This passage is about Satan discussing with his fallen angels if they want to go to war against God or not. Different demons have said different things and here is part of what Satan says, first talking about God’s power and second talking about another way to wage war against God. Remember this is fiction.

… For he, be sure,

In heighth or depth, still first and last will Reign

Sole King, and of his Kingdom loose no part

By our revolt, but over Hell extend

His Empire, and with Iron Scepter rule

Us here, as with his Golden those in Heav’n.

What (why) sit we then projecting peace and Warr?

…

… Nor shall we need

With dangerous expedition to invade

Heav’n, whose high walls fear no assault or Siege,

Or ambush from the Deep. What if we find

Some other enterprize? There is a place

(If ancient and prophetic fame in Heav’n

Err not) another World, the happy seat

Of some new Race call’d Man…

- John Milton, Paradise Lost -

- Chapter II lines 323 to 329 & lines 341 to 348 -

How interesting. Basically, Satan understands very well that he won’t ever be able to overpower God. So he’s looking for another way to frustrate Him. Hmmm, what about the new creatures God just made? Human beings. I don’t want to scare you, but don’t you feel prey to Satan and his demons? They can’t attack God directly so they attack the weakest of God’s creatures, us. I know this book by Milton (who was a Puritan) is fictional, but I think it depicts some truths and concepts of the spiritual world we don’t tend to think very much of in our everyday life.

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

1 Peter 5:8

I love to hear John Piper say:

“… How do you make Christ look magnificent when you’re dying? Answer: say “gain”. If you put everything this life offers over here and Christ over here and death takes all this and gives only Him, what do you say? GAIN! And when you say that, you know what happens in hell? They gnash their teeth. Fail! We failed again! we can’t stand it when those saints treasure Christ and delight in Christ and are satisfied with Christ and enjoy Christ so much that He looks so great. They gnash their teeth in hell when dying Christians say GAIN. And the angels, with tears running down their faces they rejoice, yes! Look how magnificent Christ is magnified by being preferred above everything that life can offer.”

Hey, I’ll be going to WEST for Christmas! I’ll be visiting my sister and her husband who are living in BC this year. Exciting!

“If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not professing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved; and to be steady on all the battlefield besides, is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point.”

- Martin Luther

I am reading “The Truth War” by John MacArthur. Very appropriate for our world today. We now live in a postmodern society. It might not be easy for all to realize it, but for Christian university students, it is quite clear that people are swimming in a postmodern jell-o pool. “Modernity … was characterized by the belief that truth exists and that the scientific method is the only reliable way to determine that truth.” (MacArthur) “Postmodernism suggests that if objective truth exists, it cannot be known objectively or with any degree of certainty. That is because (according to postmodernists), the subjectivity of the human mind makes knowledge of objective truth impossible.” (MacArthur)

It’s just amazing how people around me think like that and a lot of them are actually a mixture of the two philosophies. People buy it because they buy a little peace of mind for a little while. The modernist would say that God cannot be proved scientifically while the postmodernist would say that even if God exists, He’s got no hold or say over my life because really, we can’t know for certain what He says in the Bible and what you think is just as good as what I think. So people like it that way.

It’s tough for me to chat with those people and try to make them realize that God exists and what He thinks and says about anything is ultimate truths that cannot be altered or changed or adapted to one’s interests. Christian people are easily dismissed by postmodernists because postmodernists will simply reply that what you think is good for you. But they deeply dislike that you are convinced about something. Anyways, it’s hard to witness to them without being harsh to a certain point.

(God’s) knowledge of our afflictions and adversities is more than theoric; it is personal, warm, and compassionate. Whatever may befall us, God knows and cares as no one else can.” – A.W. Tozer

I do not think that Tozer meant for me what he made me think, but nevertheless, I believe it is quite interesting. It’s the word “personal” that I probably do not get right, only to find myself encouraged and defended by my Creator. The temptations of my flesh, of this world, of the spiritual world that bombard me day and night, all of these, God sees as my adversaries and because He is my Father and redeemed me at an unbelievable price, God takes all this adversities as His own. They are trying to touch the apple of His eye. God takes it personal.

It feels liberating. I’m not alone in the bull’s eye. God is standing in front of me. And who would dare shooting an arrow at Him?

I was out of new books to read (well, there’s always university stuff…) so I picked up an old book I’d read a few years ago, “The Knowledge of the Holy” by A.W. Tozer. I mainly read it when I’m sitting in the metro, going to university, or when we have a break in class and nobody has anything very interesting to say. What is interesting though, is that I don’t read at the same pace I would normally read. I am not a fast-reader (not in English, nor in French), but when I read this book, I always, on purpose, read really slowly. You wouldn’t want to hear me… or maybe you would. It is very different and it really feels as if the words penetrate my mind, as if I can savor them. It’s a time with God (because the book talks about what God is like, His attributes and etc.) in the middle of business. I’m always doing something, going here, going there, in class, studying, “homeworking”, talking, searching, working… it feels so sweet to stop and read slowly, like, really slowly this book. I feel at peace, in a holy place. I think it’s healthy for my mind and heart. It’s just taking the time to think about God, slowly.

You can read the following slowly, see for yourself…

“O Lord God Almighty, not the God of the philosophers and the wise but the God of the prophets and apostles; and better than all, the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, may I express Thee unblamed? They that know Thee not may call upon Thee as other than Thou art, and so worship not Thee but a creature of their own fancy; therefore enlighten our minds that we may know Thee as Thou art, so that we may perfectly love Thee and worthily praise Thee.”

(A.W. Tozer)

“Lord, how great is our dilemma! In Thy Presence silence best becomes us, but love inflames our hearts and constrains us to speak. Were we to hold our peace the stones would cry out; yet if we speak, what shall we say? Teach us to know that we cannot know, for the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. Let faith supports us where reason fails, and we shall think because we believe, not in order that we may believe.”

(A.W. Tozer)

“O Majesty unspeakable, my soul desires to behold Thee. I cry to Thee from the dust. Yet when I inquire after Thy name it is secret. Thou art hidden in the light which no man can approach unto. What Thou art cannot be thought or uttered, for Thy glory ineffable. Still, prophet and psalmist, apostle and saint have encouraged me to believe that I may in some measure know Thee. Therefore, I pray, whatever of Thyself Thou hast been pleased to disclosed, help me to search out as treasure more precious than rubies or the merchandise of fine gold: for with Thee shall I live when the stars of the twilight are no more and the heavens have vanished away and only Thou remainest.”

(A.W. Tozer)

Twilight by Shaun Groves

Like the sky before the dawn, while the night is holding on, sun and moon together in the gray. So my soul is shared by two, the worst of me, the best of you, saint and sinner mingle in my veins. And I pray you’ll end this twilight.

Twilight, twilight, I’m torn inside my soul tonight, the dawning day, the dying night, Oh rid my soul of twilight, oh rid my soul of twilight.

Good I love but evil’s done, good intentions come undone, good to know I know the One who saves me from myself.

Oh Lord, paint my heart a solid hue, the shade of You oh Lord, break this dreadful in between inside of me, oh let it be morning.

I know the sun is coming up, oh the sun is coming, yes the sun is coming up. In me.

Lord Jesus, I sin. Grant that I may never cease grieving because of it, never be content with myself, never think I can reach a point of perfection. Kill my envy, command my tongue, trample down self. Give me grace to be holy, kind, gentle, pure, peaceable, to live for Thee and not for self, to copy Thy words, acts, spirit, to be transformed into Thy likeness, to be consecrated wholly to Thee, to live entirely to Thy glory.

Deliver me from attachment to things unclean, from wrong associations, from the predominance of evil passions, from the sugar of sin as well as its gap; that with self-loathing, deep contrition, earnest heart searching I may come to Thee, cast myself on Thee, trust Thee, cry to Thee, be delivered by Thee.

O God, the Eternal All, help me to know that all things are shadows, but Thou art substance, all things are quicksands, but Thou art mountain, all things are shifting, but Thou art anchor, all things are ignorance, but Thou art wisdom.

If my life is to be a crucible amid burning heat, so be it, but do Thou sit at the furnace mouth to watch the ore that nothing be lost. If I sin wilfully, grievously, tormentedly, in grace take away my mourning and give me music; remove my sackcloth and clothe me with beauty; still my sighs and fill mu mouth with song, then give me summer weather as a Christian.

- a Puritan prayer -

Look what I found… this is truly my little sister! I think she’s pretty!