One does not like to think one has to depend on others, at least, not people like me. I like the idea of being up there. I like words like “strong”, “independent”, “helper of the helpless”, “wise”, “mature”, “loved”, “able”… But it’s tiring to think that that’s the way one has to be. Because it’s not our job to be strong. Don’t you feel it sometimes? That you were not made like steal, you were not created to be strong, but to depend on someone else.

I must confess that it’s comforting to know that we don’t need to depend on anybody. But I’m tired. Tired of thinking that’s the way I should be: strong and without any need to depend on anyone. For a few hours now, my only comforting thought is the one where I see myself hurt and crying in the arms of Jesus. I don’t know why. But I feel that a place where I can simply be weak and small and cared for is the place I need, that all human beings need. Because we aren’t strong, we were created not to depend on ourselves, but on our Creator. Not just for food and clothes, but for friendship and love, comfort in times of little and big tears. He wants to care for me, but I don’t really let Him be my Abba, my brother, my comforter. Only because I reject the idea of being weak and just who I am in reality.

I sing a simple song of love, to my Savior, to my Jesus. I’m thankful for the things you’ve done, my loving Savior, my precious Jesus. My heart is glad that you’ve called me your own, and there’s no place I’d rather be, than in your arms of love, in your arms of love. Holding still, holding near, in your arms of love.

Craig Musseau