Is it strange that I get nauseous when I realize that I got an email from a certain teacher? And is it normal that pretty mature people drop the class altogether because they feel the same way and think that their health is more important that their class? I don’t think so. I don’t mean to say that classes should be easy, but they should be healthy. I do fear man. People that have power and make me feel like I’m just a little bug, and that on top of that, they don’t like me and they want to find and expose every weakness that is in me. I don’t feel this way about God and He actually holds my life and the lives of all those I fear into His hand. I don’t know how to get healed and how remain healthy. When I think of all the work that is still before me, I feel ill. I feel sick. Because I am scarred, not of bad marks, I’m scared of the teacher but I don’t know exactly why and how I can change the attitude of my heart.

I think of Psalm 91. That’s a really good Psalm. “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty” … “He will cover you with His feathers and under His wing you will find refuge” … “You will not fear” … “A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousands at your right hand, but it will not come near you” … “If you make the Most High your dwelling”

 How am I supposed to make the Most High my dwelling? I need to remember that Psalm as I go through my days and when I think about this particular course and when I feel nauseous because of it all- like right now. I really feel though that the verse “A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousands at your right hand, but it will not come near you” really applies to me and my situation right now at university. Because a lot of people have “fallen” at my sides. So many people dropped the program, are changing programs, failed courses, are droping this particuliar one… this is all hapening around me and even if I feel like I am not as strong as those who have “fallen”, I know I cannot give up. I just can’t. Because that would be denying God’s will and ability to save and accomplish His purposes.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 11$ as of February 21, 2007.