Who’s the REAL Esther?

This is a … “picture” of my friend(s) Esther(s). It’s been on her blog for a few days and I think it’s worth sharing!!!       

Go check out her blog!

V8

I made the mistake of telling the world I was not eating any more chocolate bars for lent. A friend of mine, wanting to encourage me in my decision, came to bible study this morning with something for me: V8. Do you all know what it is? V8 is well known among Frenchies, it’s only a brand of “veggetable cocktail”. Thanks friend.

 Now, we read and thought and talked about Ephesians III. I realize more and more that there are so many things I think in my head but can’t explain with words so that people ca understand. This morning was probably the worst morning of all when we speak of expressing with words what my head thought. We talked about church a lot, the power and wisdom of God, the love of God… How we were to put that into practice in our lives. I’m not giving you details eh? Maybe you should go read Ephesians for yourself.

Now coming back to my V8. It reminded me of something quite important in life in general and in church. I decided I would refrain from eating chocolate bars (that I enjoy very much) for the lent season. My friend, out of compassion (and sarcasm) gave me a V8 to encourage me “turn to veggies instead of chocolate” is pretty much my friend’s message to me. Now, as Christians, when we’re aware that a brother or sister is making efforts to walk on the right path, we should, as my friend did with me, encourage this brother or sister. Right?

When I think about it, I probably don’t know what my brothers and sisters are struggling with or if they do try to change their ways to become more like Jesus. I guess there is no other way for me to know than by asking or being told by them. That’s something I probably don’t do enough with friends: let them know what efforts I want to make, what trouble I face. Do not misunderstand me, I am not saying that eating chocolate bar is wrong! Because I shall continue to eat them after lent it over (but maybe not as often). The point I wanted to make is simply that we should be people that are ready to share with trusted Christian friends about our struggles and encourage one another.

I’ll enjoy my V8 tonight…

Lent

Bank for Native Missionaries: 11$ as of February 23, 2007

So again, we just entered the season of Lent, it’s just been a few days (I’m never sure if it’s on Ash Wednesday or …). If I would still live in Saskatchewan, I would have heard about it, but here in Montreal, I only had my memory to remind me. It’s not like I WANT to remember it’s Lent, but I remember that it was last year that Lent started to make me think. Maybe not Lent in itself, but what people do for Lent. And obviously, I had written what was on my mind on my blog, the one that used to be on blogspot. So today I found the two posts I had written there and I found myself challenged by thoughts I had a year ago.

Oh… am I doing something special for Lent this year? I know I have no real good motivations behind me, but I won’t eat chocolate bars until this Lent season is over. Why? Simply because I have been eating Mars bars like crazy since … a couple months. It’s not that I want to lose weight or anything, it’s just something I thought I should do for a while and hre’s a new beginning, so why not doing it? Does anybody doing something for Lent?

I don’t think I could expand my thoughts better than I did a year ago about Lent, so click here if you want to know more click right here…

Psalm 91:7

Is it strange that I get nauseous when I realize that I got an email from a certain teacher? And is it normal that pretty mature people drop the class altogether because they feel the same way and think that their health is more important that their class? I don’t think so. I don’t mean to say that classes should be easy, but they should be healthy. I do fear man. People that have power and make me feel like I’m just a little bug, and that on top of that, they don’t like me and they want to find and expose every weakness that is in me. I don’t feel this way about God and He actually holds my life and the lives of all those I fear into His hand. I don’t know how to get healed and how remain healthy. When I think of all the work that is still before me, I feel ill. I feel sick. Because I am scarred, not of bad marks, I’m scared of the teacher but I don’t know exactly why and how I can change the attitude of my heart.

I think of Psalm 91. That’s a really good Psalm. “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty” … “He will cover you with His feathers and under His wing you will find refuge” … “You will not fear” … “A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousands at your right hand, but it will not come near you” … “If you make the Most High your dwelling”

 How am I supposed to make the Most High my dwelling? I need to remember that Psalm as I go through my days and when I think about this particular course and when I feel nauseous because of it all- like right now. I really feel though that the verse “A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousands at your right hand, but it will not come near you” really applies to me and my situation right now at university. Because a lot of people have “fallen” at my sides. So many people dropped the program, are changing programs, failed courses, are droping this particuliar one… this is all hapening around me and even if I feel like I am not as strong as those who have “fallen”, I know I cannot give up. I just can’t. Because that would be denying God’s will and ability to save and accomplish His purposes.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 11$ as of February 21, 2007.

There is a Redeemer

THERE IS A REDEEMER 

(by Melody & Keith Green )

There is a Redeemer - Jesus God’s own Son

Precious Lamb of God, Messiah - Holy One

Jesus my Redeemer, Name above all names

Precious Lamb of God, Messiah - Holy One

Thank you Oh my Father - For giving us your Son

And leaving your Spirit till - The work on earth is done

When I stand in glory - I will see His face

There I’ll serve my King forever - In that Holy Place

Thank you Oh my Father - For giving us your Son

And leaving your Spirit till - The work on earth is done

I really enjoyed last week’s worship time at church, especially this song. I think it’s sort of an old song, but I don’t know since I’m not an “Anglo”, I mean, a native speaker of English and did not grow up in an English-speaking church. It’s neat how old hymns are still sung today and are still so meaningful, much more than a lot of contemporary Christian songs. I guess it’s because the salvation that Christ offered to these people who wrote hymns years and years ago, is still the same that is offered today, Christ has not changed and remains the same. I like songs that have glorious endings like this one. That speak of the day when we’ll be in the presence of Jesus Christ.

Pray for me. Life goes to fast and I wish I could slow down. Unfortunately I don’t get a termbreak this semester while the rest of university students have a one-week recess, I’ll be doing my internship in a school. So this does not help to keep my sanity.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 11$ as of February 19, 2007. Thanks…

a Church?!

So it was almost 9 at night and I was chatting with a fellow student who lives in my hometown. I don’t know why but we were saying that there was nothing to do in this village, not much to see. And so she mentioned the bar by the highway and that she didn’t care about it so much. I told her that I would get rid of it altogether if I could ’cause it’s not a good place at all, it’s too bad that a small village has nothing but a bar for attraction (it’s a different story in the summer, but still). So my friend asked me, “What would you build instead of the bar? … a church?!”. I thought that her comment was funny. It’s easy to figure what she knows about me and I think it’s kinda cool that people associate me with church, religion, spirituality or whatever word they want to use. It doesn’t mean all these words should be associated with me, but it’s a start.

God’s Grace

Bank for Native Missionaries: 11$ as of February 12, 2007

So today was bible study with a few fellow university Christians. We are just a few girls but we always have a good time. We are studying Paul’s letter to the Ephesians and there seem to be too much to talk about and too little time, so we’ve decided to read the passage and answer some questions at home, before Monday 12:30 when we meet, that way we have more time to talk and encourage one another to really put into practice what we’ve learned or seen in the Word.

Today we left telling each other that we should think about how we can “flesh out” the grace of God into our daily lives. The passage we read in Ephesians 2 talked a lot about the fact that we used to be dead in our sins, but that God made us alive in Jesus Christ, that we were saved by grace, and then our purpose was to serve God and bear good fruit, not because of fear or because we desire to be righteous in the eyes of God, but simply, out of thankfulness for the grace God had towards us…

But, how do you translate God’s grace into daily actions? I think that it has a lot to do with the attitudes of the heart. Christians are quick to desire to misrepresent themselves spiritually (if they’re like me) and we like when fellow Christians think we’re “spiritual” people, wise and pretty deep in our thinking… We like the idea of self-righetousness, I don’t know why. Probably because we’re proud.

I think that the attitude I should have should be one of humility. Because really, this is all about God being good to me, not me bringing anything to Him. And I am just as bad and rotten as anybody else on earth. The grace of God should humble me.

somebody else’s blog

Hey I think this blog’s interesting… well there’s only three posts, but it’s interesting.  Click Here

Don’t forget our borthers and sisters in South Asia. This month’s Bank for Native Missionaries is at 0$ so far. 

Hey I added a new page on this blog, go check it out (it’s on the top and it’s called “Random Questions”

I feel like I’m 15 / This Morning’s “Life’s Slice”

I don’t know why but I always said that 15 years old was the “year of rebellion”. Kids rebel against their parents at that age. Of course it can happen pretty much anytime during their teens, but oh well. I feel like I’m 15 right now. If you’re smart enough, you’ve understood that I am a little rebel. Well, no I ain’t. But I feel like one.

My grandpa had gone this morning and when I came out of the shower, my grandma asked me to help her with vacuuming downstairs. She had started already and just couldn’t keep going anymore. My grandpa wouldn’t have let her vacuum the house if he had been there. So I vacuumed and then I asked if I could help her in any other way. She wanted to do some dusting around but she told me it would take too long, that I didn’t have time. Again I told her I was willing to help her, no matter how busy I was. I said that if you ask, you’ll receive (she knows this verse) so she replied that I knew what she needed and that I wouldn’t ask her if she needed anything. She said that she didn’t want to yell from downstairs, that she would die from yelling. My grandpa arrived (good thing). I was a bit ticked off, but I told her again, “Whenever you need me, no matter what I am doing, I am always available, just ask me”. I went upstairs and couldn’t keep my eyes from crying.

It’s frustrating because I do not know what she needs because she does not tell me. She says she’s shy to ask for help. I know she wants her house to be clean and make sure someone cleans it every week. But my granpa does it when I’m away and I never know when I should clean because … of my grandma’s moods. I don’t know her needs, but she thinks I know. To me, the house is always clean, but to her it’s always in need of dusting or vacuuming. We don’t see things with the same eyes. It’s frustrating because it’s not true that I don’t ask if she needs help, because I do.

I just feel frustrated and misunderstood and I don’t know what to do. I’ve witnessed something interesting in my thinking. It’s like I’ve become a 15 year-old, frustrated with her parents. I am usually careful not to make too much noise in my room, but this morning, I just didn’t care very much about it. I don’t like always being gone ’cause I feel like I’m just using my grandparents, but now I don’t care anymore. That is very different from what I’ve been feeling and I don’t think I’ve got the right attitude. I know it’s important for me to stay healthy and sane, so I do need to get out and I’ll do so this afternoon. But I really need wisdom to deal with this relationship. I think I will make it a point to ask my grandma, everyday at lunch time if she needs anything done that day. If you have any ideas, please let me know.

I kinda feel why a 15 year-old kid would rebel against his parents. When a kid just feels misunderstood and frustrated, he just gives up on those frustrating people and feels like “whatever, I don’t care anymore” they don’t respect me anyways. I’ve really never felt that way before (so I guess I had pretty good parents and it’s just not me to rebel against authority) and I think it’s really interesting indeed. I don’t plan on being a rebel, I’m 22 and I live at my grandparents’. It’s not the time, nor the place. I think I need to be full of grace and ready to adapt my ways so I am helpful to my grandma and does not make her feel like I’ve got no time for her. But still, I really wonder where’s the line between me responding to all her “sublimanal” messages (Oh, it’s so hard!) and when it’s time for her to ask, or understand that we do not revolve around her. Touchy… Touchy.

Watch out

“Jesus said to them: ‘Watch out that no one deceives you’…” (Mark 13:15)

I could not write another post without mentioning what I heard in class last Tuesday night. You remember my Advanced English Grammar class and how I have been impressed that at every single class since the beginning of the term I found myself thinking about God’s stuff because the way certain aspects of the grammar was taught. I even thought that the teacher might have been Christian for a second or two about ten days ago. But now my opinion has totally changed and this is for good.

Yes, again, something happened in class. I was thinking that something was going to happen because it’s like a tradition now and I write a post about this class every week. But this time it was really bad and direct, I did not “spiritualize” things that were said, they were simply literally said. I do not, by any means, intend to put down the teacher, I am just sad.

We were talking about literacy and how people who can’t read and write cannot access information as easily as others and then, they can be more easily influenced by others. People can hide the truth to those who lack knowledge. People gave examples of this kind of situation and obviously, “religion” came out. I don’t remember the right words and I am paraphrasing very bad here, but the general idea that I, and a few other people that I talked to, got, is this: “No one who has a high level of literacy (who can make critical decisions based on the information given), can believe things like the earth was created about 6000 years ago, creation is impossible.” Basically, that was it. I was mad. Then people kept piling on comments about the fact that some schools and camps teach the “Creation theory”, that the Bible was written by a bunch of guys we didn’t know, so it was not reliable, that the Bible was just like any other newspaper… People were nodding, disgusted, as if some evil was let loose in our America, people with little knowledge were being used by religious people, that it was a big business, promising people they’d have eternal life… I could not believe it, I felt so much hate against God in the atmosphere. I was mad, so mad.

And I sat there, by the wall, feelling as if I had so much to say, but nothing to say at the same time. I kept my mouth shut, I was not ready for such an attack. It is true that lots of people make use of little informed people or just normal people with religion or sects and make money with them. But the God of creation revealed in the Bible is not behind those deceiving “spiritual” leaders. I guess I am not used to university yet and it was the first time a teacher was opposing my faith in a public way like that, even saying that you could not really be intelligent to believe such fantasies, that anybody who’s smart enough, would realize that this is all just impossible (my words).

I talked about it with some people during the break and some were mad too. This is sort of good in a way. Because now I know a few more people who do believe in creation… It’ll give me more opportunities to reach out to them and tell them about God’s free forgiveness in Jesus. This whole situation in class is so sad. Blinded people believing that those who see are blind themselves and refuse their help. Where are we going?

Pray for me. I confess that I feel my faith very weak, as if all their hate and arguments are pressing hard on me, telling me that what I believe is impossible and dumb, that I should turn away from my theories of a God who created me. At the same time I am reminded of these words: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:68), truly I will find myself naked, blind, wretched and poor without God in my life. He Lives.