What makes a slave, a slave? I guess there are two types of slaves, on the one hand you have the slave who hates his duties and on the other hand you have the slave who enjoys them. I guess I take for granted that all slaves hate their duties, but actually, it is probably true that many of them in the past and the present (because there are still slaves on earth, I am not talking about servants here), who loves their slave duties. 

I thought about sin and how human beings are slaves to sin. The thing is that many unbelievers say that they aren’t slave to anything because they want to sin (they don’t say it literally like that but). They enjoy it. Not all sins, but many of them. So my question is this: if a slave enjoys his work so much, is he no longer a slave? No, his master considers him his and requires as much obedience. The slave remains a slave, he is not free.So slavery has nothing to do with the slave’s feeling about his obedience. Slavery is about the shackles.  

So when I read verses that say things like “… sin shall not be your master…” (Rom 6:14) and “… we should no longer be slaves to sin…” (Rom 6:6), I look at myself and wonder what’s wrong with me, because I often feel to be a slave to sin.  I guess the problem with me is that I am tempted to return to Egypt and be slave to my old masters again, because sin is enjoyable and easy. What’s different with me is that I no longer belong to sin. I’ve been freed but I foolishly go back. I’m not a slave to sin because of Jesus and there are two desires inside of me; my flesh that calls me back to slavery and the Holy Spirit that shows me the way to holiness. So, no. I am no longer a slave to sin, I’m free. But am I a slave to Jesus? That’s an other question and I am not sure what to answer. 

I’ve heard lots and I know all the answers about the two “natures” inside of me and that I belong to Jesus and bla bla bla, that I fall sometimes and la la la la. But it sucks to be such a bad person claiming to be God’s forgiven child. I just would like to be perfect right here right now so that I don’t really need grace from God. It is awful to think in such a wrong way.