Romans 1:28, “Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of god, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.”

I won’t say much about the context of this verse, but if you want a little idea, Paul is writes in verses 18 to 23 about men worshiping the creation instead of the Creator, then from verse 24 to the end of the chapter, about men commiting all kinds of wickedness.  Verse 28 was interesting to me this morning. I am not exactly sure what “the knowledge of God” means here, in French it says ”Ils ne se sont pas souciés de connaître Dieu” (they did not care or worry about knowing God). So I am not sure if this applies to unbelievers only, but I can say that it reminds me of myself. You see, often I am before a choice, and I know what I ought to do, I know I should obey God. But the thing is that I often choose to do it my own way, say no to God and disobey; it’s easier and more fun for me right now. I know that it is wrong and that I sin, but I still do it. I sometimes feel as if I spit in the face of the Holy Spirit who desires me to obey and leads me into righteousness.

You see, maybe it is not as clear to you, maybe it is easy for you yo obey God or maybe you don’t even feel like you’re before choices soemtimes (that usualy goes on in my mind) but to me, it is always “sur mes talons” (on my heels???). It is a battle that goes on in my mind and the more I give in to my flesh, the more my mind is corrupted and dead. I am not exactly the one you should go to for advice about this issue, because I struggle and fail most times. But I realize that walking with Jesus is a constant surrendering of my own desires, plans and thoughts. And yes it sucks, I hate it and it’s too tough. Putting down my pride always makes me sick, sometimes almost literally. But hey, Jesus loves me and knows what I need way better than I do. He wants me to be healthy and strong, disobeying Him leads to nothing good, and leaves me empty and dead.

It’s nice to write and think and read about this all. But how much does it affects my life?