Higher Obedience

I don’t know why but these last couple of days I have been missing Saskatchewan a lot. I know that I often say that their news reporters on tv are rather cheesy and that there is nothing really great out there… but I still miss this place so much. Just Saturday, I was talking with a friend who grew up in Saskatchewan, about the sky that is just like nowhere else I’ve seen. I talked about the walks I would go for in the morning right when the sun was waking up with all its splenndor and colors. I remember how much awe God put into my heart just by looking at the sky, either in the morning or in the evening with the northern lights… or just during the day; the clouds are so pretty sometimes. I miss going for walks in little Hepburn. When I think of this time of the year, I can say that I still miss it out there. I remember that I would go home at night so discouraged about the crazy freezing wind, I remember that I would just feel like resting a little in the middle of the road because I was too cold to keep going… I miss it today. I miss the early morning, especially when it would be Youth Advance and I’d have to be in the kitchen around 6:30-7am, when I’d have snow up to my knees, walking on main street. I miss the people that made this place (and are still making) what Bethany College is. I miss the little life I had there. Lots of frustrations, lots of challenges, lots of laughs and joy and tears.

I miss the freedom I felt and the privillege to walk quietly or speak out loud to God in between fields. Now life is different and that’s why I miss Saskatchewan. You see, Montreal is a big city and some may think that is it a place where you’re really free of doing whatever and there is so much to do… but for me, it’s the oposite. I feel more like in a cage or something, I miss “wide open spaces” as the country song goes.

The purpose of this post? Not sure. Maybe so that people in Saskatchewan reading this post would not take the beauties of their little place for granted… and for me, to thank God again for those two years I spent there… and thank Him for my today too. Because I am sure that at one point in my life, I will look back to my years in Montreal and think that they were the “good old days” to some extent.

This has been my third class this semester for my “Advanced English Grammar” class and it’s the third time I write a post about something that was said in class that made me think. Yes again! I was wondering if anything would come up tonight…

We were talking about the job of definite articles such as “the”. I know it seems pretty simple, but let me tell you that sometimes, things are hard to grab. Anyways, we were talking about the difference (in meanings) of two simple sentences:

1. I see light.

2. I see the light.

We saw that when the article “the” is used, it means that it points to something specific, among a variety of stuff in a same group, pointing at one in particular. So to see “the light” meant that someone had to first KNOW that there was light somewhere, and then finally come to see it and say “I see the light”. Someone who would be in total darkness and suddenly, without prior knowledge of any light coming, would see the room filled with light, would indeed say “I see light”. I’m not sure if my explanations are grammatical and if I got it right but anyhow…

The teacher told us about the “religious” meaning. She asked us what it meant to “See the light”. Some people said “God… I guess” and “The truth”. The teacher went on to say that since people spoke of seeing “THE light” (not just light) they had to have a certain prior knowledge of “the light”, they had to believe that “truth” existed. “The” was pointing to a particular truth, not any.

So I found it interesting that we again somehow managed to talk about God’s stuff in class… It really made me wonder why the teacher inserted this piece of info in her class. It was not necessarily needed. Maybe an other example to help us understand. But I sort of hoped for a second that she was a Christian and wanted to make us think… I’m pretty sure I am wrong about this, but eh. It brings me joy to have unbelievers talking about stuff like that a five minutes.

Bank for Native Missonaries: 18.76$

I’m not going crazy or nutty or whatever adjective you want to use. Life feels sweet right now. You see I’ve been busy thinking so hard about school assignments, things that need to be done, books I need to find, places I have to go to, little time I have, searching and searching, I felt out-of-breath. Not physically, but inwardly, my heart felt overwhelmed, what a great mountain I stood before me. I know everything will be done and it’ll be fine, in it’s own time. But it does not mean it’s easy or that I don’t see the mountain as so many small, medium and big-size stones and rocks I need to get out of my way… Because people do say that we shouldn’t look at the mountain, but rather, at one stone at a time. It’s true.

So tonight I just felt like it was so much to bear. At one point, too sick about it all, I decided I’d close all my word documents and Internet research engines and would just listen to some music. You might not know the song, but here’s a chorus that greatly encouraged me and gave me a sense of sweetness to belong to Jesus.

“You are all I need / You give rest to my weary soul / You are all need / Nothing can take me from your hold / You are all I need when times are good when times are bad / You are all I need / Nothing more and nothing less / Living water flow through me / Living water flow through me / Living water flow through me…”

(All I need – Chris Fowler)

You see, I think it’s important for me to stop and remember that what I do and that takes so much of my time and that drives me crazy sometimes, well, there are much more important things in life: God. God is above all my little business, my troubles, my overweight mind for such a little head, He wants me to rest, He’s all I need. This world’s got a lot I could desire and people I want to please or need to please… but that’s not really important, God is all I need, no matter the circumstances and the craziness.

That’s why life’s sweet, even in the midst of its “nuttiness”.

Bank for Native Missionaries (December & January): 18.76$

Today was a rather queer (my new favorite word: read Alice in Wonderland and you’ll notice it everywhere) day. Maybe it’s not the right word too, but anyhow. Life at my grandparents has been quite the usual since I came back from Christmas break, but today it was sort of tough, I don’t know how to explain the feeling.

You see my grandma had gotten men slippers by mail and now my grandpa was sending them back. This implies a 15-minute walk to the post office. Oh well, I guess he went and came back, but then they got a phone call and he had to go back again, I’m not sure why. I was in my pj’s and it was around 10am, my grandma started talking pretty loud and she seemed desperate like the world was coming to an end or something. It alarmed me, so much that I stopped “homeworking” and got dressed to check on my grandma. I finally did not venture downstairs. I realized she had finished talking on the phone and now was talking to herself, explaining to … I don’t know who, how the post Canada people* were thieves, that they neeeded to work for their good salaries… bla bla bla. I hope my story does not bore you. So anyways, she was just swimming in a pool of worries that were not even worth a thought, serious.

It made me think about us – children of God. Since my grandma does not know how this world works, she worries and make scenarios in her head of how it works out there… and worries and sees mountains out of a grain of sand, unimportant details. Is it the same with God? Does He look at us and thinks “Man, you guys worry so much about so little details, you care so much about your own life and your so-called problems, but they deserve none of your attention!” To me, finding eight questions about the English grammar is a … sort of big worry, and finding the answers and doing research, man, that worries me. To me, getting my dress looking ok for my sister’s wedding is a bit of a worry. My worries seem big or medium or small… but actually, in God’s eyes, what are they? Pretty much nothing at all. There is no need for me to go crazy about any thing. I don’t want to be like my grandma who worries so much about things that I think are big, but that are actually mere details because God knows where I’m going and He’s in charge of the details I don’t understand or know how to fix. I just try to do my best and yes, be concerned, but never to worry. I just need to trust God.

*Please note that I these views about Post Canada people are not those of the author, but rather of a up-and-down old lady who sadly does not get out enough to know how things work… Post Canada people are always nice to me, making me sing songs because I don’t have my key in Québec, giving me directions in Alberta making sure I was not paying too much on stamps in Saskatchewan, and selling me stamps in Lousiana…

Tonight I had undergone about two and a half hours in an Advanced English Grammar class and I found myself pondering about Yahweh, the Three in One God. How can this be? Well the teacher was telling about genders in the English language. We, French people, love to say that there is no genders (masc. or fem.) in English and even English grammar support this idea. But the reality is that there is genders in English. I know this might not interest the reader so much so I shall go right to the point.

The teacher explained that in English, a chair for example, is a noun that bears no gender at all, while a cat, is ONE noun that bears TWO “entities” which are FEMININE & MASCULINE. It’s not that cats themselves are both female and male cats, but rather, that the noun “cat” contains two opposite “entities”.

So it made me think about God, who is ONE, but THREE. But it’s sort of the opposite of the noun “cat”. It’s not that the ONE word “God” bears THREE “entities”, but God Himself who is THREE in ONE. I don’t know, but looking at the board, I was just making links from one simple concept to this great truth.

As well, last week in that same class, I was really impressed by the way the teacher explained something. I don’t remember exactly, but it was about ”believing in something that you can’t see”. No, we weren’t talking about God, but it was about young kids learning things like things in time (it was there, I can’t see it no longer, it reappears… I can’t see it no longer… hey! It must be somewhere…) type of thing. The teacher really looked like she was talking about believing in God, and I remember I was almost smiling how direct the link was. Especially when it was said ” it’s believing in something that you can’t see” and “It’s not because you can’t see something that it does not exist”. I just felt like “Man, isn’t it obvious! She really is talking about God! How can’t people see it?!” I guess the teacher did not have in mind what I had in mind, but it was a sweet little few minutes for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpBWWsOdJ9s

An explanation.

Well my sister came for a visit this weekend, well we had to shop for my bridesmaid dress. And since we always have a lot of fun with cameras and the like, she had a lot of fun making a mini video when I was gone to the bathroom. So you can see it by clicking on the address. It’s really useless for you probably, but if you want to see what kind of younger sister I have, please check it out.

It’s no fun she’s gone now. I don’t feel like reading and doing school stuff that I should have done yesterday. I’ll have to sometime.

You know, never in my life I left like we were a lot of people on earth. I grew up in a very small village, lived two years in a small community in Sherbrooke and two years in a small town in Saskatchewan. That’s something I was probably not prepared to face when I came to Montreal; so many people. We obviously look like millions of ants walking around, minding our own business, trying to have a good life, taking care of ourselves, and for some of us, trying to reach out to people and tell them that there is more, and that’s found in Jesus. It’s actually, for me, a bit depressing. Because there is really no room for anybody being more important than anybody and even though that’s the way it is on earth, when we think about it, we’re all the same, all human, all at the same level, all ants.

Sometimes I wonder what’s our worth, there are so many people anyways, and that’s just what my yes can see. I don’t even think of other places on earth, that’s just Montreal downtown. And I wonder why God would even care about us as a group (human beings) and I get even more distressed when I remember that God cares about me personally, everyday. What’s the point? Am I not insignifiant? I don’t know. All our efforts to reach out and do good and tell people about Jesus seem so little. It seems that we, little creatures, desire great things and can’t be satisfied with little. I’m not saying we should be satisfied with small good things, but we shouldn’t be discouraged because nothing big happens and persevere witht the small things.

Finally, I got all my grades yesterday and I passed every course I had last semester. I feel very privileged. As I attended my first classes this weeks, I noticed that some classmates from last semester were missing, a couple didn’t pass a certain course that was pre-requisit to some courses now and some had dropped half-way through last semester because some classes were too tough. I struggled a lot for certain things and I sometimes had no hope of succeeding at all, but I just thought that it would be weak and stupid of me to stop persevering. So that’s why I feel privileged, many people who failed, I thought they were better than me.

I am remembered over and over again that I must live by faith, that my purpose here in university is not to focus on my own success, but to focus on God’s purposes. It’s not that I don’t work hard in my studies, I do my best, but I don’t worry about what will happen. I care about the people around me and how I can tell them about Jesus. Is there a matter of a greater importance than that? Don’t be misled. I am not an evangelist at all and I don’t talk about Jesus often. But I’ve seen that God has been giving me opportunities to chat with people, one-on-one, outside classes. We don’t talk about Jesus yet, but it’s relationships that are slowly building and I think people will get to know me more and I don’t know, will be more interested next time I invited them to the Folies Lunaires, or any Christian activity.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 0$ as of today, Friday January 12, 2007.

This is just a little entry to make a … « billan » of the Bank for Native Missionaries of 2006. It has been a full year now that people have been giving a few bucks here and there and sometimes bigger amounts, to the Bank for Native Missionaries. I thank you all for trusting me with the money you gave, you can be sure it all went to Gospel For Asia and it was used for our brothers and sisters in South Asia who are struggling to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ to unreached areas. Your money was used to purchase (or was given toward buying) the following items:

Kerosene Lantern (29$) / VBS Child Packets (17$) / Bicycle (20$) / Jesus Well (63.20$) / Winter Clothing (83.61$)

In total we have given 212.81$ overseas! I think it is great! Is there a reason to stop gathering our bucks? NO! It does not seem a lot of money we have in the Bank every month, but it does come to a bigger amount when we look behind. Thank you to all who gave and may we be found giving even more in 2007.

If you have any questions about giving and how this bank for native missionaries work, please click on the “Bank for Native Missionaries” tab on the top of this page, or email me at gabeleroux@yahoo.ca

What makes a slave, a slave? I guess there are two types of slaves, on the one hand you have the slave who hates his duties and on the other hand you have the slave who enjoys them. I guess I take for granted that all slaves hate their duties, but actually, it is probably true that many of them in the past and the present (because there are still slaves on earth, I am not talking about servants here), who loves their slave duties.

I thought about sin and how human beings are slaves to sin. The thing is that many unbelievers say that they aren’t slave to anything because they want to sin (they don’t say it literally like that but). They enjoy it. Not all sins, but many of them. So my question is this: if a slave enjoys his work so much, is he no longer a slave? No, his master considers him his and requires as much obedience. The slave remains a slave, he is not free.So slavery has nothing to do with the slave’s feeling about his obedience. Slavery is about the shackles.

So when I read verses that say things like “… sin shall not be your master…” (Rom 6:14) and “… we should no longer be slaves to sin…” (Rom 6:6), I look at myself and wonder what’s wrong with me, because I often feel to be a slave to sin. I guess the problem with me is that I am tempted to return to Egypt and be slave to my old masters again, because sin is enjoyable and easy. What’s different with me is that I no longer belong to sin. I’ve been freed but I foolishly go back. I’m not a slave to sin because of Jesus and there are two desires inside of me; my flesh that calls me back to slavery and the Holy Spirit that shows me the way to holiness. So, no. I am no longer a slave to sin, I’m free. But am I a slave to Jesus? That’s an other question and I am not sure what to answer.

I’ve heard lots and I know all the answers about the two “natures” inside of me and that I belong to Jesus and bla bla bla, that I fall sometimes and la la la la. But it sucks to be such a bad person claiming to be God’s forgiven child. I just would like to be perfect right here right now so that I don’t really need grace from God. It is awful to think in such a wrong way.

Just a few pictures to show you what to do when your friend got millions of brandy beans at her work as a gift for Christmas… If your friend likes them, then it’s fine, but if your friend doesn’t, you want to give a hand…

First, you want to get rid of the actual flavor: the brandey inside the chocolate. So you cut the beans in order to take the liquid out. Keep the brandey in a glass so that it can be used (for what reason, I don’t know).

Second, you must rinse the empty beans since there is still a lot of sticky brandey inside.

Third, you have to eat the remaining chocolate with peabut butter or soemthing of the kind since the brandey smell and taste is soaked in the chocolate forever. Enjoy!

I know that this post really has nothing to do with what you usually find on this blog, but I think it is a good picture of how the last three weeks of my life have been for me. After spending three and a half months in university and being so serious about life and not really talking to anybody apart for the superficial stuff and the bible study time I had, I spent three weeks doing nothing. I just relaxed, never had anything to do with school, apart for checking my marks on the Internet. I really laughed a lot and said many many funny, cheesy, useless things (never bad). I realized that I since I was so focused on school, studies and getting used to live at my grandparents’ that I never had a chance to simply be crazy a little bit and laugh for real. I didn’t really have the opportunity I guess. These last three weeks were needed and I hope I have a more balanced life this semester.