Native Missionaries: 5.50$

I don’t know about you but as a Christian, I have a hard time integrate with non-Christians. What I mean is that I don’t find it easy to be part of a non-Christian community and really “be there”. I was walking home from university, the last time this semester. Everything was behind me, all my finals and courses. I felt strange, like alone or empty. For three and a half months I had been part of a “community of learners” as we call ourselves (everybody in my program) and I was still so far away from them. I did go to all my classes and did team work outside our classes and etc. but I never felt like I had the same motivations, the same call, the same spirit as my schoolmates. Why? Because they aren’t Christians, because it’s been a long time I’ve had to integrate a group of unbelievers for educational reasons. I don’t know, it is just strange for me because I feel like I’m from an other world and my purposes in wanting to become an ESL teacher are not those of my classmates. It’s for God and because I believe He called me to this task, right now in my life. This to me makes me feel so different from people around me. I wonder if my feeling is good or bad. Maybe it is a mixture of the two. As I walked I thought that even though I hate the feeling of standing alone, as if nobody can relate and understand me in my program, I wanted to remain that way. I did not want to get used to be with unbelievers and forget that I was here for God’s reasons. I think it’s good that I feel alone, because I see that I am different from my schoolmates, I remember that I am God’s child, following His directions. But at the same time, I really would like to be at the heart of this community. What I mean is that I would like to be engaged (not just by being present at university) in my program, with the people. Because if I think I’m apart and they can’t relate to me and I don’t try to build true relationships with them, I will never be able to “have an impact” of speak to them about the truth, Jesus Christ. I think I’m sort of in between, but lately I have been feeling much more alone. I don’t know. I think it’s strange how I feel about it all and I bet you might not get what I’m trying to say.

Anyways. I’m ok. It’ll be good for me to get out of Montreal and have a three-week break. Among all the blessings that Jesus brought to me by becoming a baby to bring me salvation, I am grateful that the very fact that he was born, gives me a break from school.