I don’t know how to explain this, it’s not even very clear in my mind. But I am discovering a “new” way of being self-centered and I hope I never become like that. While I live in Montreal I notice a variety of things in people’s behaviors. We’ll say his name is Rob. Rob does not get out of the house often. It’s not his “fault”, he just has no reasons to get out and he cannot really because of his fragile health. But anyways. Since Rob with many people outside his house, all he can think of is himself. The joys of yesterday, the hurt he probably hides, his today’s problems and frustrations, and his tomorrow’s worries are pretty much all he has on his mind. Well, I don’t know actually. But when I listen to him, he is always talking about himself or things related to him. He does not experience anything else, so it’s sort of “normal”. But at the same time, he imagine all kinds of things and does not really understand what people mean when they talk to him. So he thinks “Oh, this one thinks such and such about me and bla bla bla”. But these are all scenarios he’s making up.

So what’s my point here? I am not sure. I think it’s important that we should be people-centered and not self-cetered. Because Rob is actually unhappy. I think that we should not care so much about our own lives and care more about other people’s lives. Wasn’t Jesus’ attitude on earth? I am not saying that we should be slaves to people and die (unless God calls you to do so), but I believe we sometimes need to be waken up from our self-centeredness. 24/7 we are with ourselves, I am with myself all the time and keep thinking about things related to me, university, things I need to do, where I need to go tomorrow, my own relationship with Jesus and with friends… it’s a lot about me. And it’s normal, because I am with me all the time and I need to think that way because otherwise… I would probably die; I would not eat and shower and bla bla bla … But I think it’s important for me to just stop and realize that I am not here on earth to fulfill my own plans and desires and live the way I want; I am here because God wants me to be here and has a plan for me and commands to live by: for my good, for His glory. It’s not about me and my own success. I need to think more about other people around me and how I can help them, encourage them, Jesus’ way. I think I need to take other people’s lives more seriously than my own life.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus who being in very nature God… made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in the human likeness… obedient unto death.” Philippans 2:3-8

That’s why I want to share with my brothers and sisters in South Asia (we’re at 0$ for December so far), that’s why I want to get out of my comfort zone and do the things I know the Holy Spirit is asking me to do, that’s why I remember I am here not for my degree, but for God’s glory, that’s why I need to stop and refocus on God and the people around me. It is tough. But I think it’s an attitude that has to be cultivated.