So my tests (French and English) at the university are coming up very quickly. I need 55% for the French one and 75% for the English one. I think I’ll do great. Well, I mean, I’ll pass both of them. But then, I’ll have to go for a different English test, to check if I can actually speak English and pronounce properly and carry a conversation. I know I can do it. I’ve done it for two years in
Saskatchewan. It shouldn’t be a problem. But I worry. It’s always scary when people listen to you not only to listen, but to see if you’re good enough to speak the language. I don’t know if I’ll pass this test, maybe I won’t, maybe they won’t like my French-Saskatchewanee accent. I don’t know. And just the thought of actually going to university has been a bit heavy on me these days. It seems just unreal and too big for me. I don’t feel good enough and big enough. 

Just as I was thinking about it, I lifted my eyes to the wall in front of me. The other day I was going through a bunch of old stuff, lots of kids stuff and Sunday school things I did. I found a little “note card” with a drawing on it. My Sunday school teacher probably drew it and I “colored” it. It is a picture of a man with a piece of wood in his hands, he’s standing by a big boat. Namely this is Noah building the ark. Then, right on top of the little card, it is written “Il faut obéir à Dieu, Actes 5.29” (We must obey God, Acts 5:29). When I found this little drawing I thought I should frame it and hang it up on my wall as a reminder.  

So with my heart a bit heavy with university worries, I lifted my eyes to the wall and I noticed this little kid-like drawing. I realized that I wasn’t trying to get into university because I decided I wanted to or because it was my idea. No, I was trying to get into university because God called me to go. He asked me to obey. I am not going on my own, I am sent by God. It makes me feel better. I’m not in charge. He told me to go. If it doesn’t work after I’ve obeyed and did my best, then it’s His business, His will, His plan. He’s leading me somewhere, I’m not sure where though. But it’s okay.  

I must obey God. 

45.20$ in the Bank for Native Missionaries. Thank you!