I’ve always loved this verse found in I Corinthians 9:27. I’m not sure why, maybe because the struggle within me seems so obvious and real that I often feel like I need to beat my body in order to obey Christ. I’ve been thinking about humility and I realize that even though I once thought I knew what it meant to be humble and that I was doing a okay job myself at it… well I really don’t know what it truly means to be humble, to practice humility. Humility is more than simply “being humble”, doing the things a humble heart does when it doesn’t cost anything, when there is no beating and wrestling and sweat. Humility is a fight against pride. A tangible realization that there are two natures in me; the one led by sin and the one led by the Holy Spirit. These two are fighting and usually, the sinful nature of mine is always, always “in the parking lot” ready to fight while my renewed nature in Christ has a hard time letting the Holy Spirit simply do His work. I’m discovering that being humble is a harsh job that it asks for literally, supernatural strength. I can’t fight against my pride without injuring it. That’s the natural outcome of a fight eh? If I beat my body and make it my slave, then for sure, I injure this body of sin, my pride. So I hurt myself when I fight against pride. But you know what? I don’t feel as hurt when I fight against the Holy Spirit. It hurts to a certain level, but usually only afterwards, while fighting against my flesh and my sin hurts so much… all the time. I don’t know much about humility but I’m starting to realize that it costs much more than what I thought it would. It depends on who you are. I guess I am a very proud person, so it costs me a lot and I need to beat my body. Sometimes I feel as if my body and my sinful nature were kids parents never disciplined. I know it’s my job to rely on the power of God and do all I can to obey the Holy Spirit. I should pray about it more and more and more. I should to memorize good humbling verses. I should seek to have a right view of myself and to leave room for others and say “Whatever, it’s okay Gabe, don’t be so childish”. Because it is okay to look nerdy, it’s okay to keep quiet because I know the words I desire to utter are urged by my pride, it’s okay that people think I’ve changed (for good or bad)… It’s all okay because I have only one Ruler and He is the truth. It’s okay but it’s so hard to do. Letting go of my pride isn’t easy. It’s a never-ending fight.